Highly Effective Marriage
By Nancy Van Pelt
Paperback, 222 pages
, 2000
ISBN: 9780828014205
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If you long for greater marital intimacy, tenderness, and respect, this book for Christian couples is filled with powerful secrets to create the marriage of your dreams.
Part 1: Her Needs/His Needs: Decoding the Mystery
Marriage—Playing for Keeps
- The Benefits of Staying Committed
- Commitment Isn’t Enough
- High Expectations
Her Need for . . .
- Love and Affection
- Emotional Security
- Appreciation for Domestic Efforts
- Appreciation for Efforts to Look Attractive
- Romantic Attention
His Need for . . .
- Admiration for Appearance, Abilities, and Character Traits
- Approval and Support
- Respect
- Sexual Fulfillment
Part 2: How to Live With an Imperfect Mate
Acceptance
- What Is Acceptance?
- Acceptance—An Irrepressible Need to Be Loved and Approved
- The Key to Acceptance
Habits That Destroy Relationships
- Destructive Habit Number 1: Nagging
- Destructive Habit Number 2: Angry Outbursts
- Destructive Habit Number 3: Criticism
- Destructive Habit Number 4: Irritating Habits and Annoying Behaviors
The Effects of Destructive Habits on Relationships
- Destructive Habits Create Tension
- Destructive Habits Kill Love
- Destructive Habits Arouse Defenses
- Destructive Habits Don’t Produce Change
- Another Part of the Problem—You!
- How to Point Out Mistakes (if You Must)
How to Become a More Accepting Person (if You Really Want To)
- What to Accept, What to Change
- Getting Rid of Your Own Bad Habits • Changing Yourself
- Create a Strategy for Change • Must I Accept Everything?
Part 3: Why Can’t My Partner Understand What I Say?
Why We Communicate the Way We Do
- Why Couples Can’t Communicate
- Temperaments
- Is There Hope for Achieving Better Communication?
Listening—A Way to Show You Care
- Listening Bloopers
- Listening Know-How
- Tuning In, and Tuning Out
- Actions Speak Louder Than Words
- Paraphrasing: Responding to Content
- Active Listening: Listening for Emotions
- Putting It Into Practice
- His and Her Listening Styles: Are They Different?
- Six Powerful Listening Rules
How to Talk to the One You Love
- Killer Talk: Barriers to Effective Communication
- The Silent Treatment
- High Level Talks
- Frankly Speaking: I Messages
- His and Her Talk Styles: Are They Different?
Coping With Conflict
- Is It OK to Fight?
- The Share-Care Plan for Resolving Conflict
- His and Her Fight Styles
- Making the Most of Talk Time
- A Holy Triangle of Communication
Part 4: Why Can’t a Woman Be More Like a Man?
Is Something Really Wrong With the Male Brain?
- Male and Female Brains
- Left-Brain, Right-Brain Sex Differences
- Sex Differences in Spiritual Matters
- Balance Translates Into Wholeness
What Men Should Understand About Women
- A Woman Craves Affection
- A Woman Needs to Talk to Feel Close
- A Woman Needs Honesty, Openness, and Trust
- PMS: The Real Story
- A Woman Needs Financial Security
- A Woman Needs Commitment to Family
What Women Should Understand About Men
- Male Ego Strength
- A Man Needs an Organized, Tranquil Home
- A Man Appreciates an Attractive Wife
- A Man Needs Recreational Companionship
- A Man Needs Stress Relief
- Seek to Understand
Part 5: Who’s In Charge Here, Anyway? (Solutions to Power Struggles)
What’s God’s Plan for Leadership in Marriage?
- Where’s the Balance in Power?
- God’s Original Plan
- The Authoritarian
- Coleadership
- A Supportive Relationship
Family Leadership
- Supportive Leadership
- Effective Leadership Principles
- Leadership a Woman Really Wants From a Man
- Common Objections to Leadership
- The Limits of Submission
Submission—What It Is What It Isn’t
- Mutual Submission
- The Missing Link
- What Submission Isn’t. A Supportive Wife
- Submission Is an Attitude
Spiritual Leadership
- Imperfect Situations
- Three Secrets That Will Build Spiritual Oneness
- The Benefits of a Mutually Supportive Relationship
- Success Is Just Around the Corner
Part 6: Good Sex Doesn’t Just Happen
How Good Sex Happens
- Too Tired for Sex?
- “Not Tonight, Dear!”
- Understanding Female Sexuality
- The Four Phases of Sexual Response
Understanding Sexual Climax
- Clitoral vs Vaginal Orgasm
- Multiple Orgasms
- Tips for Increasing Pleasure
- Problems That Can Ruin Your Sex Life
- Premature Ejaculation
- Erectile Dysfunction
- Pornography
- A Word to Preorgasmic Women
- Let’s Talk About It
- Does Sexual Desire Decline With Age?
His and Her Tips for Great Sex
- How to Satisfy a Woman Sexually
- How to Satisfy a Man Sexually
- The Joy of Quick Sex
- Maintaining Fidelity
Part 7: Preventing Marriage Burnout
Make Love Last a Lifetime
- Creative Ways to Keep Romance Alive
Date Your Mate
- Creative Date Ideas
Play With Your Mate
- Creative Play Ideas
Laugh With Your Mate
- Creative Humor Ideas The Romantic Getaway
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